(01-29-2009 11:45 PM)timmypatch Wrote: [ -> ]In the last two months i've not touched a carbohydrate and I've gained about 15-20 pounds. Granted, I've probably been averaging in the ballpark of 4,000 calories daily, a good 80% of which has been fat, have drastically scaled back on exercise, and have not been getting nearly enough sleep lately.
While I don't presume to speak for others here, and I'm sure the amount of food that I've been eating is atypical, i think my experience clearly invalidates the widely held view that as long as a person isn't eating carbs, he cannot gain weight. As far as I'm concerned, it also invalidates the opinion that zero carb eliminates cravings in all cases. I foresaw having a miserable amount of school work this semester, and knowing from experience that logging in hours behind the desk drives me to eat extreme amounts out of boredom, I figured that perhaps going zero carb could help me overcome this problem, or at least prevent the inevitable weight gain this sort of behavior would ordinarily entail, but clearly the diet has failed in both respects.
I don't mean to discourage others, and I'm people will be quick to point out that I'm just one person, but in the spirit of science and understanding more about how a carb free diet affects the body, I thought somebody here might appreciate some insight into my unique experience.
Timmypatch, you should be getting paid for such top notch satire. Listen folks, I understand that many here are extremely hesitant to dismiss what others say for fear of developing a "bad" or "judgmental" reputation elsewhere in internet land, thinking that if those on this board aren't "accepting" and "open-minded" and "considerate" and "compassionate" and "understanding" that it will shut out others from approaching both this website and this path. Problem is, that cautious attitude is what allows nonsense like this to carry on for seven pages, and what I'm sure will be many more.
WARNING: The following statement will not hold your hand, embrace you lovingly, or pander to your weak emotional state.
Everyone's precious little feelings aside, this is three paragraphs of the most laughable bullshit I've ever seen. I mean really:
"...my experience clearly invalidates the widely held view that as long as a person isn't eating carbs, he cannot gain weight. As far as I'm concerned, it also invalidates the opinion that zero carb eliminates cravings in all cases."
These are
some declarations little Timmy makes, having been zero carb a whole two months now. Maybe it's been longer, though, since Patch boy seems to struggle with numbers.
On Dec 11 our precious Tim-Tim stated that:
(12-11-2008 06:12 AM)timmypatch Wrote: [ -> ]Over the course of the past couple of years or so, I've progressively been lowering my carb intake to practically zero.
While two days later, on Dec 13, he had:
(12-13-2008 10:51 PM)timmypatch Wrote: [ -> ]been close to zero carbs for a few weeks
He also mentioned, on Dec 13, the year of our lord 2008, that:
(12-13-2008 11:50 PM)timmypatch Wrote: [ -> ]I'm only 23
Strangely, as of today, Jan 30, 2009:
(01-30-2009 01:34 AM)timmypatch Wrote: [ -> ]I'm a 21 year old guy
Well, you may be packing on the fat, but at least you're feeling much younger, dude. Patch Adams explains away this discrepancy:
(01-30-2009 01:57 AM)timmypatch Wrote: [ -> ]About the age, I sometimes give out "fudged" personal data. I do this not because I'm trying to mislead, but because I am fairly paranoid about giving out information online that somebody who knows me could use to identify me with (my real name is not timmypatch either). I'm sure you think that's stupid, but its true. Lets just say I am around 21, and leave it at that. I somehow doubt that zero carb would affect a 23 year old differently that it would a 21 year old. I do not fudge facts that are relevent.
It appears Timmy is somewhere between the ages of 21 and Liar. But that's not relevant, so let's move on.
People, take a whiff. That's the scent of an expert troll. He recites just enough zero carb dogma, and kisses Charles' hindquarters just enough to plant the seeds of nonsense and still be taken seriously, offering an impossible scenario so that nobody can supply an adequate answer, all to be able to declare this path a failure in some way, shape, or form, and once he has our concession, he can share the victory on some far away message board in a far away land where his handle is Timmyfruits and he shall earn himself legendary status.
Now if I've completely missed the mark here, and his entire story is somehow based in reality, then we may be dealing with some kind of shape-shifting alien life form. Someone get the SciFi network on the phone.
This nonsensical journey should've ended on page 2 with Charles:
(01-30-2009 02:03 AM)Charles Wrote: [ -> ]You didn't come for help, you clearly came to share your experience and you've done that. Thanks for sharing.
For some reason, it didn't
(01-30-2009 02:31 AM)timmypatch Wrote: [ -> ]If you don't want to hear what I have to say, just let me know, I'll stop talking.
I can speak only for myself, but since no one else has taken you up on your offer, I'm happy to be the first-
I'm letting you know that I don't want to hear what you have to say.
Thank you, please drive through.